About Chris

Most approaches to anxiety today treat it as something to fight against, but I see it differently. By understanding our unique anxiety patterns and creating a sense of safety and trust within ourselves, we can transform anxiety from a burden into a tool for growth and we can remember who we truly are without anxiety. 

This isn’t about managing anxiety; it’s about changing how we see it and using it to guide us toward our True Self. What neuroscience teaches us is that our anxiety is trying to protect us. Let’s teach it a better way by recognizing anxiety as a signal for deeper alignment and personal freedom. 

How I Came to Do This Work 

I've been deeply immersed in the transformation field for over 15 years, continuously seeking to understand the dynamics of change both as a science and a source of healing.

But the last few years have brought that desire to understand directly to my doorstep. My wife and I uprooted our lives and moved to a new home (a dream come true!), but we quickly faced some unexpected family challenges, which uncovered some trauma and anxiety I wasn’t prepared for. 

In the months that followed I experienced hallucinations, chronic pain, rapid weight gain, difficulty focusing, procrastination, isolation, detachment from activities and people I cherished, skin issues, avoidance behaviors, and dark thoughts.

I had the painful realization that parts of my identity and all I’ve known in my life were tied up in a trauma response. 

I felt shame and frustration over not progressing in my personal growth, despite trying numerous strategies with little success.

I slowly started to uncover deep-seated patterns of fear and survival mechanisms so that I could shed identities I adopted for safety and survival that no longer serve me. This inner exploration has been essential in understanding why I've struggled with maintaining a sense of safety and connection with my true self. 

Trauma to me means loss—Loss of connection, loss of trust, loss of power, authenticity, and most of all, loss of safety. Until recently, I had no idea how much trauma I had experienced growing up, periods and phases of unexplained depression, and how much anxiety I was living with in my day-to-day life. 

Until I became aware of all the ways that I was, covertly, mentally and emotionally abused, manipulated, and controlled, my past trauma made me feel deeply ashamed and convinced me that I was somehow flawed and unworthy. This manifested as a subconscious survival pattern to uncomfortable situations. First I get flush, sweaty, and rigid which usually is followed by an upset stomach. Then the anxiousness sets in and I shut down, which I’ve come to recognize as an extra layer of protection. Enter the downward spiral of shame and frustration because I don’t know how to make things better in the moment. 

As an only child, this was how I learned to cope with my environment, by isolating and shutting down completely. Quite simply, avoiding conflict was safer than engaging. And, as a child, I wasn’t wrong! It became safer for me to ignore my own feelings and needs in order to avoid making things worse. To survive, I learned to numb my emotions and dissociate to protect myself, which worked in my past, but is not helpful in the present, as an adult.

Living in a constant state of hypervigilance, a state of increased alertness to potential danger left me stuck in a freeze response all the time. 

Being queer has also contributed to my hypervigilance around other people and in certain environments, I’m always on the lookout for potential harm and people who feel unsafe. When it’s not safe to be who you are at home or in the world, you learn how to keep yourself small and quiet, almost invisible, just to feel ok. This way of living became my “normal”. 

A lot of folks talk about how hard it is to trust people after you’ve been hurt. Barely anyone talks about how hard it is to trust yourself again when you’ve had your gut instincts and convictions skillfully undermined by someone else. 

It chips away at your confidence and the lasting impacts go beyond anxiety and nervous system regulation. You lose your sense of self, the fear of repeating the pattern and loss of autonomy further contribute to the difficulty in trusting your judgment. The true tragedy of staying trapped in anxiety or unhealed trauma is not the pain or the same harmful patterns repeating themselves, it’s that you don’t become YOU. It freezes your development, holds you in old stories, subconscious patterns, and habitual feelings.

Both terrifying and liberating at the same time is taking an honest look at the question: Who am I if my story begins to change? 

Both our brains and our bodies need safety, connection and belonging to thrive and support our well-being. Understanding how to get back to safety when you get derailed is how you build back self-trust and inner safety. Breaking free from anxiety is unique to you, you have to honor what helps your individual system.

Reconnecting to yourself is the highest form of safety. 

This awareness has forced me to confront the ways in which anxiety has impacted every aspect of my life—not just physically, but environmentally, and in my sense of self l. I realized that anxiety is a normal human response when something in your life is “off” or out of alignment. 

You are not broken. You are stuck in survival mode. You can get unstuck.

Your subconscious trusts you when you start seeing and accepting life for how it truly is and seeing and accepting your role in your experience of anxiety. 

In the midst of my own healing turned to what I’d studied and revisited my extensive training in neuroscience and behavior change. Everything changed when I slowed down, took space and time to accept what is and started from where I was standing. Safety Within is to BE with it. I had to let go of my grip on how I thought things should be and be with what is. 

I started to create reset rituals and safe havens that allowed me to slowly build back up trust and connection with my true self, something I had been disconnected from for a long time. Trying to force myself out of my experience or put pressure on myself to be somewhere further along than I was ultimately kept me trapped longer. Instead of trying to get my symptoms to go away, I engaged more with the work as a way to cultivate safety and trust within myself. Most importantly I have a compassionate partner in a supportive environment that allows me to begin to heal in a healthy way. 

I've come to realize that true change is about finding peace amidst the chaos of anxiety and reclaiming joy in everyday life. 

It doesn’t mean that we live in the absence of triggers or discomfort. It means expanding our capacity to hold ourselves in our mind, our body, and our energy in the midst of the trigger or discomfort. Unpacking these incongruencies liberates us from old pain and guides me towards unfamiliar territory—embracing daily joy and unraveling the true me.

My goal is to help you get to the root of your anxiety—The first step is building back up Safety Within. 

Keep scrolling for my formal training and education.